Foster’s Porn Story: More Than My Friend – Chapter 8
I HATE MY COMPUTE! I HATE MY COMPUTER! I HATE MY
COMPUTER!
That basically sums up how Ive been feeling for
about the last week.
For some reason, my computer is refusing to let me
upload the sequel for “More Than My Friend.” Not that its not
letting me upload the specific chapters, thats all working just fine. The
problem is, whenever I click on “New Story,” it keeps flashing me the
same message that I havent “read and agreed to the content
guidelines.” This is of course a lie, as Ive been agreeing to the
guidelines for TWO WEEKS NOW.
To be honest, I cant explain it. Ive agreed to the
guidelines, Ive wait seven days, Ive done it againand againand againbleah.
Im still being told that I havent accepted the guidelines, and Im still
being told to wait for up to seven days.
Trust me, its not the site itself thats doing this
to me. has got nothing to do with this, believe me when I say its just my
computer thats doing this to me. When I was checking my account on my older
brothers computer about a week ago when we were visiting him in college, the
site was all set to let me choose a category and get my story uploaded.
However, I didnt take the opportunity then, as I thought that “Well,
since Im told Im all set with the guidelines here, we cant I just do it at
home?” Unfortunately, as soon as I got home and clicked “New
Story,” all I got was “Dude13, you have not read and accepted to our
content guidelinesblah blah blah.”
So thats it. I dont know why on earth my computer
just wont let me submit a new story and instead shows me the same stupid
screen over and over.
However, Im not going to let this piece of junk get
the best of me. While waiting to be allowed to upload chapter 1 of the sequel
as a separate story, Ive written close to 90 of the sequel, and Im not going
to stop now and simply throw myself at the mercy of the family computer.
Instead of waiting possibly forever for my computer to get its act together
while my story just rots away in a word document file, this is what Im going to
do. Simply put, Im just going to start loading the chapters for the sequel
starting right here, right now, and instead of making “More Than My
Friend” one of two separate stories in a series, Im being forced to
combine them into a kind of super-fic.
God knows Im not happy doing this, and Id much
rather prefer to be able to have two stories then this hybrid Ive got on my
hands, but I just really want to get it up on the site. Im just through with
waiting and technical difficulties.
So, unless I get this bug on my computer worked out,
here we go! Chapter 1 of the hopefully much-awaited sequel of “More Than
My Friend.” HOORAY!
Disclaimer: I do not own Foster’s Home for Imaginary
Friends.
Ding Dong!
Hello?
Ding Dong! Ding
Dong!
Anyone there?
Ding Dong! Ding
Dong! Ding Dong!
Cmon, cmon Officer Thomas OBrian grumbled to himself
as he rang the doorbell for the fourth time.
Why wasnt anyone answering? This was the place, wasnt
it? He checked the address written on the small note card he carried in one
hand. Yes, it matched up with the antique mailbox out near the metal gates. And
of course, he had been told to go to
the local home for imaginary friends, and the police officer knew for a fact
that this was the only such institution for miles around. So why wasnt anyone
home? It probably was inhabited by at least a hundred imaginary friends, surely
one of them would have the common courtesy to open the door, especially for a
policeman such as himself.
He cursed under his breath as he shoved the address back
into his pocket. Maybe he needed to ring the doorbell again-
Oh dear, Im terribly sorry for the inconvenience!
Welcome to Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, how may I help you?
Officer OBrian looked up at the British-sounding speaker
who had suddenly opened the door while he had been stowing the note card away.
He nodded politely at his greeter, an oversized rabbit who appeared to be very
properly attired in top hat, jacket and glass monocle positioned in his right
eye.
Officer Tom OBrian, town police. Im sorry to disturb
you like this, uh, Mr
Herriman, Mr. Herriman. The rabbit corrected him. And
believe me, sir, I should be the one who should be apologizing. It seems that
while I was attending to some important paperwork in my office, I thought that
our resident caretaker was taking care of the door. I don’t know what on earth
she might be up to at this moment, but I give you my deepest regrets for
keeping you waiting like this-
Oh no, its not a problem at all. Officer OBrian waved
it off quickly, eager to get to business. Thats okay. I just have some quick
business to attend to, Mr. Herriman. Do you think I could speak with two
particular occupants of the house?
Mr. Herriman gasped as he was completely taken aback by
this request. Sir, please! I know as a keeper of the law you are only
attending to your duties, but believe me, I dont think any residents of our
establishment would be so brash as to get mixed up-
Hold on, hold on, I have their names with me here. The
policemen cut him off, reaching into his pocket again for the scrap of paper.
Um, lemme see here…uh…aha! Does a Miss Foster live here? First name
Frances,
answers by the name of Frankie? he inquired.
WhyIwell yes, but- Mr. Herriman tried to object.
And also one Mr., uhIm not sure how you pronounce
thisumdo you also have a Mr. Kazoo in residence? First name Blooragard?
At this Mr. Herriman promptly withdrew his objections and
narrowed his eyebrows with a frown. Oh. He replied grimly. Those two. Now I see. If you will pardon
me for a moment. The rabbit turned around and made his way inside a nearby
office with a very dignified hop. OBrian nearly jumped out of his skin when he
heard the rabbits booming out over the house intercom.
MISS
FRANCES!
YOU ARE NEEDED HERE IN THE FOYER AT ONCE! COME DOWN THIS INSTANT, YOUNG LADY,
AND NOT A SECOND LATER! BELIEVE ME, IF YOU ARE NOT DOWN HERE WITHIN THE NEXT
THREE MINUTES, THE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE DIRE! NOW COME HERE OR ELSE YOU CAN
EXPECT A SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCED PAYCHECK NEXT FRIDAY!
Before the police officer had time to recover from his
shock, Mr. Herriman briskly hopped back out of his office, nodding politely as
he passed by.
Just a few more seconds, if you please.
Umno problem. The man responded dazedly. He watched as
the rabbit entered the next room, an entrance that was quickly followed by a
series of outraged protestations.
Ow! Hey, whats wrong with you? Cmon, Im still eating
breakfast! a high-pitched voice yelled angrily.
Not anymore, not until youve explained to me whats been
going on, you rascally miscreant! To the foyer, at once!
Hey, you cant-OW! Knock it off-OW! Okay, Im going! OW!
OW! OW!
Mr. Herriman re-entered the front hall, dragging a small,
blue gumdrop-shaped imaginary friend along with him by the ear, or at least
where the little things ears would be had he possessed them.
Ouch! Cmon Mr. H, I wasnt doing anything! I promise!
Ow! Okay, okay! he whined piteously.
Miss. Frances, where are you? Mr. Herriman called out
irritably. I swear, if youre not here in-
Im coming, Im coming! Sheesh, hold your horses! came a
grumpy, feminine voice from the stairway. Officer OBrian looked up to spot a
tall, lanky young red-haired woman racing down the main staircase, mumbling
darkly under her breath. By the looks of the green bathrobe that she was still
tying around her waist and the wet strands of hair that flopped about wildly as
she hurried down, it was apparent that she had just been in the shower.
It can never be when its remotely convenient, can it?
Its always gotta be while Im in the shower, getting dressed, in the middle
ofwait, what the? she asked bewilderedly as she noticed the police officer
standing in the doorway. Mr. Herriman, what on earth is going on here?
I should be asking you
the same question! the large rabbit growled angrily. Frances Frankie Foster
cocked an eyebrow, utterly confused by his response.
Um, okaaaaay
Dont play dumb with me, young lady! Mr. Herriman barked
angrily. What is it? What did you do?
What do you mean, what did I do? HEY! Frankie cried
indignantly as she noticed Bloo, fidgeting about painfully in Mr. Herimans
tenacious hold. Oh no, oh no! No, no, no! Look, I have no idea what Bloo did,
but theres absolutely no way Im going to let him drag me down with-
Master Bloo? Dont you mean your partner-in-crime? Mr. Herriman interrupted. Frankie gritted her
teeth angrily. With a growl, she clenched her fist and shook it furiously in
the rabbit’s face.
Hey look, Im not sure if you were just listening to me,
but if that stick up your you-know-what is effecting your hearing as well-
Well theres no surprise! Criminal slang being used by
the criminal-in-question! Its all starting to come together now
Hey, Mr. H, if I can speak for myself a little bit here,
I think we have a bit of a misunderstanding- Bloo attempted to smooth-talk his
way out.
No! Dont even think about it! Frankie snapped, jabbing
a finger accusingly at the small friend. Dont you dare try and pin this all
on me! If you-
Aha! First the crime, and then betrayal! Such
black-heartedness, I shouldve expected nothing less from-
Will you knock it off, you long-eared rodent? Frankie
almost screamed. I dont know what-
You dont know what? You
dont know what? Hey, I just wanted to eat my Fruit-Loops, if you guys are
gonna set me up like this- Bloo complained angrily.
I told you, knock it off! Youre not worming your way out
of-
Well if you think Im dimwitted enough to let your
partner take the fall entirely for you-
For the last time, I-
EVERYONE PLEASE!
someone suddenly screamed at the top of their lungs. Instantly the three
bickering house residents went silent as they turned to the immensely
exasperated police officer. Will all three of you please be quiet? I can assure you Mr. Herriman, no crime has been
committed here!
Oh Mr. Herriman replied sheepishly. Deeply embarrassed,
he began to blush noticeably through his silver-gray fur as he quickly released
his grip on Bloo.
Er, I do believe I owe you two an apology
I dont think sorry is gonna do it, Peter Cotton-Butt-
Frankie began to snap.
Look, look, can we just get down to business here?
Officer OBrian cried. This is still urgent! I was sent here because Miss
Foster and Mr. Kazoo were both requested for by one Mac-
As if he had said the magic words, within a moment the
caretaker and imaginary blobs jaws plummeted in near unison as their eyes
bugged in mortified shock.
Mac? What about Mac? Frankie asked nervously, instantly
forgetting all her previous rage. At the sound of his creators name, Bloo
gasped in shock and almost immediately turned into a much paler shade of the
color from which he derived his namesake.
What happened? What happened to my buddy? Tell me! Tell
me! TELL ME!” he cried frantically as he slipped right into a state of
near-hysteria, and instinctively he latched onto the officers jacket and
started tugging ferociously. The officer sighed painfully as Frankie managed to
release the little creatures hold and pull him back.
Well, it appears the child in question asked for both of
you after we took him down to the station this morning. Its okay, hes okay!
he reassured the two quickly, after noticing that Frankie looked as if she was
about to faint upon hearing this.
Dont worry, hes fine. But
But what? BUT WHAT? Bloo cried, on the verge of
hysterics. Frankie meanwhile wrung her hands so fiercely it looked as if she
was going to get her fingers tangled in a knot.
Oh God, oh God, oh God she repeated to herself over and
over. That last but definitely did not
mean anything good. The policeman paused, took a deep breath, and then looked
back to the girl and imaginary friend.
Shortly after the child went to bed last night, his
mother went out to pick up his older brother from a friends house. On the way
home however, it appears that they had a nasty run in with a drunken driver,
and he paused for a moment to recompose himself. This was never easy.
There were no survivors from the accident. He finished
bluntly.
Everyone present in the Fosters foyer went dead silent.
Thanks everyone for bearing with me here!
If my computer does ever get its act together, I will try
and put this up as a separate story.
However…chances of that happening don’t look so good.
Thanks anyway!