Foster’s Porn Story: Frankie Rules Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends and its characters are created by Craig McKracken and owned by Cartoon Network.

Lyrics are taken from “Promises, Promises”, a song written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David.

Valentines
Day:

Call
them now!

Grandma,
its only been four minutes.

Four
minutes will do. How are Maxwell and Gunilla supposed to get in the
mood if they expect you to come and pick them up in the bus any
minute?

Fine

Hello,
Goo? Im sorry, but the bus seems to have broken downYeah, I
know, when it rains it pours, pun not intendedyeah, I know what
the weathers likeyoull do that, huh?…good ideaagain Im
really sorry about thisha ha, yeah, goodbye!

Now,
what did she say?

She
going to try and call for a cab, of course, just like I warned you
of.

Madame
Foster laughed mockingly. Oh, Im sure shell try

I
still cant believe youve made a deal with the Taxi central.
Frankie commented, rolling her eyes.

Obviously,
theres a lot you cant believe tonight, dear. But dont
underestimate your grandmas abilities. Now, lets give them, oh,
say thirty minutes before we get the bus started after all. By the
way, when you called her, did you hear anything in the background?

They
were playing Bacharach on the stereo.

Excellent!

I dont
believe it!

Now
what?

We
have to wait forty-five minutes for a cab! Well, its
understandable , I suppose, this being a big dating night after all,
and when the weather is like thiswell, walking hand in hand in the
rain can be very romantic I guess, but you can have too much of a
good thing. Of the rain, that is, and being completely soaked isnt
very romantic, if you ask me. We just have the worst of luck tonight,
huh? First, we borrow Frankies car, which turns out to be out of
gas, and I still cant believe she forgot to check, especially
since it was her suggestion that we borrowed it in the first place,
then Fosters bus breaks down, which means were probably stuck
here. At least my folks cant help us, cause theyre on a date
too with each other, of course, cause if they were on a date with
some other people then Id be really worried and much more upset
than I am now, and Im upset enough as it is – and in any case,
theyre also going to need a cab when they decide to get home,
cause they wont be in a condition to drive. Usually, when they go
to a party one of them stays sober to be designated driver, but
tonight they specifically said that Goo interrupted herself.

Sorry,
Mac, I guess my yapping is the last thing you need right now

Oh,
its okay, he replied, Ithinkits kindofcute

Goo eyes
widened. Sorry, why are you mumbling all of a sudden? What was that last thing you said?

Mac
retracted. Ah, no it was nothing.

Ho-kay,
so what are we gonna we do now? Do you
know anyone who can come and pick us up?

My
mom is on a date. And so is Terrance, if you can believe it. But even
if he wasnt, I wouldnt call him for help. Id rather wait
forty-five minutes for a taxi than to owe him
a favor.

Good,
cause thats what were gonna have to do anyway.

There was
a moment of awkward silence.

What
are we going to do in the meantime?

HmmmmI
know, lets play truth or dare!

Truth
or dare? What am I, eight years old?

Pleasepleaseplease!

No
points?

No
points, promise. What am I,
ten years old?

Mac
smiled.

All
right then. Onlytheres not much space to do anything here.

So
lets concentrate on the truth,
then! Can I begin?

If you
wish.

All
right thenhmm hmmm

Goo smiled
knowingly. Then she said in an uncharacteristically slow voice:

Do you
really think my yapping is kind of cute?

Mac
gave her an embarassed look. I walked
right into that one, he thought.

On a bright monday noon, Frankie was getting ready for her daily ritual – Checking out the discussion forums at Fosters
website.

There was a new thread on an old subject.

Wilt
and Frankies forbidden love -Posted by: Bloomeister666 – Replies: 14
– Views: 67

With
a sigh, Frankie opened the message. There
was nothing too sleazy, just a lot of vague implications. And
besides, too many people had read it already, so it would seem
suspicious if she deleted it now.

Her
requirement that the websites posters had to identify themselves
had not stopped Bloo from spreading his stupid online rumors. Some of
them were harmless enough, like the one about Cheese being an alien
spy or Frankie herself being an imaginary friend. Some were
technically harmless, but still offensive. In fact, it wasnt the
stories about her and Wilts relationship that upset Frankie the
most, but rather the one about her following the directions of a
diminutive pea-shaped friend when she turned things around during the
TV teams initially disastrous visit to Fosters eight years ago.
Frankie considered it a great, personal insult to her that Bloo tried
to put the credit for her quick thinking on some unknown friend.
Nobody could even remember having met this Peas guy, anyway!
However, after Bloo started spreading that rumor, a lot of friends
suddenly claimed that they could vaguely remember having seen him.

And
that was the problem: Many of the friends were, by nature, nave. There was always someone who was prepared to believe in
any of Bloos stories. The last time Bloo was spreading a rumor
about Frankie and Wilt, Eduardo kept asking nervously if he was
interrupting anything whenever he encountered the two of them
together.

Excuse
me, Frankie?

Frankie
was so deep in her won thoughts that she hadnt noticed Wilt
standing right in front of her, holding two paychecks. Hurriedly, she
clicked out of the forums before the tall friend had the chance to
see what she was reading. He shouldnt have to endure yet another
one of these embarrassments.

What is
it, Wilt?

If you
have the time, I would like to talk with you about these paychecks.
He handed them to her.

Frankie
examined the checks. It was his and Goos. Is there a problem?
she asked confused.

Well,
its just thatGoo is paid less than me.

Thats
right. So what?

Wellit
doesnt seem fair. Goo needs to save up money for college. She
should have more than me. Could you raise her salary and reduce
mine?

Frankie
stared at her estate manager in utter disbelief. Wilt rarely joked,
and he didnt look like he was joking now, either. She sighed.

Wilt,
you outrank her! I know youre always trying to be nice to other
people, but this is ridiculous!

No
its not! Wilt replied firmly with a hint of anger in his voice,
as if he felt that Frankie was patronizing him. When you were
caretaker, your salary was higher than Mr. Herrimans, even though
he outranked you!

How
did he know that? For moment, Frankie
was at loss for words.

Besides,
there are other reasons why I need less money. For one thing, I dont
pay for food and shelter.

Well,
neither does Goo! She lives with her parents.

Still,
that doesnt cost Fosters anything, does it?

Frankie
leaned back. She was wondering if perhaps she was writing history
here. How many bosses ever found themselves arguing with employees
who insisted on being paid less?

I see
your point Wilt. But I worked hard for my caretaker salary, and so do
you. Now, Im not saying that Goo doesnt work hard as well, but
do you really think she deserves

Frankie,
how long did it take before Cheese got
adopted?

Two
weeks.

And
for those two weeks, who took care of Cheese all the time, and kept
him out of your way?

Goo.

And who got
him adopted after only two weeks?

Frankie gave up.

She
grabbed a pen, and with a shrug, crossed out the name Wilt
Michaels on the biggest paycheck and replaced it with the name
Gunilla Gae. Okay, Im giving your salary to Goo, and vice versa.
Hopefully this will make everyone a little more hap

Frankie
raised her head, suddenly noticing that said Goo
was waiting patiently at the door.

Can I
help you, Goo? she asked, surprised that the girl hadnt simply
burst in, as usual.

Uh,
yeah, I think you should know that.Bloo just tried to warm a can
of soup in the microwave ovenstill in the can, that isand.uh,
it caught fire.

Frankie
looked at Goo for a moment. Uh, and
thats all you have to say in the matter? she
thought. No painstakingly detailed
explanation, no digressions, no paraphrasing Bloo?
She was used to Bloo creating disasters, but Goo using less than
thirty words to explain a disasternow, that was creepy.

Is that
all?

Yeah,
pretty much.

Well,
thank you, Goo. Ill go and have a word with Bloo in a minute.

Kay.
Anduh, about the salary? She looked down. Thank you. Thank
you both.

As Goo
closed the door behind her, Frankie turned to her estate manager.

How
long was she standing there?, she asked.

Wilt
shrugged. Long enough to hear about our little salary dispute,
obviously.

Frankies
eyes narrowed. Goo knew she was getting
a raise, and her only reaction was to look down at floor and say
thank you? Not that Frankie
wanted the girl to bow down and kiss her feet. But she was used to
Goo showing just a little more, well, enthusiasm.

Wilt,
have you noticed anything unusual about Goo lately?

Wellshe
seems quieter nowadays. And for her, I guess that is kinda unusual, the tall friend
conceded. And in her mind Frankie added:

Come to think of it, she has been that way ever
since Mac started working here on weekends.

Wait
a minute, was that it? Was her relationship with Mac in trouble?
Maybe it was a mistake to allow them to work at Fosters
togetherDid they have a fight? Was Mac tired of her? Were they
tired of each other? On the other hand, it was only two days ago that
she caught them making out in the laundry room. It didnt make
sense.

What
am I missing here?, Frankie thought as
she got out of her chair.

Im
going to check out the disaster area, she told Wilt while walking
towards the door, Meaning wherever Bloo is at the moment.

Down at
the kitchen, Bloo was trying to turn out the fire he had just
started. When he saw Frankie coming in, he jumped and made a
desperate attempt to cover up the smoking microwave oven.

I-it
was an accident! he cried You see, I thought the can was made
out of cardboard. Like those things they pack potato chips in

Thats
not what I want to talk to you about, Frankie said wearily. Well,
actually I do, but it can wait till later. Theres another matter

Ohwell,
is it about me borrowing the bus yesterday? Cause I asked Wilt for
permission, and he said yes. Well, he didnt exactly say yes, he
just grunted and nodded, and he mighthave been napping at the time. But he
looked like he was awake, I swear.

Frankie
sighed. No, thats not it, either. Listen, this concerns Mac

Bloo
gasped He told you that it was I who mixed up the laundry last
week so that your green favourite sweater turned white? That dirty,
lying sneak! He promised not tell anyone

No, I
didnt even know that was you.

Bloos
eyes widened. Then he slapped himself on the forehead.

All
right, I give up he sighed. What is it about Mac?

Frankie
poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.

I was
hoping you could tell me.